Progress Report

I found a little piece of who I am in Los Angeles. Now, my mission is to unearth the rest of me. My greatest success so far has been the ability to process that I am the cause of me--I am my suffering and my joy and my struggle. To blame others for my defeat or to depend on others for my happiness has been my greatest misstep. I am my life's architect and it is up to me to draft the most brilliant plan complete with infinite possibilities and unreasonable feats!

I find myself overwhelmed with this new found power as it is the same power present in my heroes and mentors. It is the power that I have envied for as long as I can remember. As ridiculous as it may sound, we all were born with the capacity to lead, empower and inspire. Like Obama, we possess the power to accomplish the most un-dreamable dream. Have you ever looked up the definition of the word hero? Marion Webster defines the word hero as "a legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability." Well, we are all of divine descent and somewhere along the line we forget where we came from or get obsessed with what we think we are or are not and everything goes to shit. We each have the capacity to do a hundred times more than what we do. An extraordinary person is one who learns to identify and utilize the power that lurks within. I am committed to being extraordinary as I am sick of being a mediocre version of myself.

Another great lesson that I have learned since starting this journey is that an extraordinary individual is an individual with BIG PROBLEMS and lots of them. Committing oneself to acquiring lots and lots of big problems make all of the small problems insignificant and comical. My greatest problem now is how am I going to impact this world? How am I going to cause a shift, create magnificent change, move mountains, and on and on? I have a greater understanding of the contemporary painter Jackson Pollack and his efforts to save the world through his paintings as an artist fighting against the void. Through paint and canvas he battled suffering and died a hero in my eyes. While many think he didn't do a damn thing, he did. He understood that one's existence is about the greater whole not oneself. It is when one has a full grasp of this concept that one's power can function at full charge. When he was alive he did his part by fighting not only for his own life, but for all of us. If we each lived every day for everyone else, this world would be a safer, happier, healthier place. Grasping this concept and putting it to use in my day to day life has resulted in the most magnificent interactions. The simple ability to to acknowledgeg every individual I come into contact with as a fellow human being on the same journey as me has been revolutionary in the way people react to me--defenses are down and smiles are abundant.

Unfortunately, regressing into the solo mission mindset isn't hard. Finding authentic love for the people that have hurt me most has been a tremendous hurdle for me in my day to day progress; however, my acute awareness of my hurdle is proof that I am progressing . I strive to find peace with my emotions in regards to these individuals and in my prayers, I pray for their happiness. With time, I believe I can get to that place where I feel complete.

My journey continues and once again I leave you with the promise that I will be a better blogger. With your well wishings, I know will succeed.

xx
R